The Second Time Around

Above: The wonderful weirdness of infant REM sleep.

I'm amazed how easy our transition has been from 3- to 4-person family -- it was nowhere near as traumatic nor dramatic as the transition from a 2- to 3-person family, which left me thin, weak, and exhausted. Not only was the transition different, there are a few other differences with the second child, such as ... 

J, 2.5 months

W (and friend), 3 years

• Equipment. With the 1st kid, I was willing to power (or, suffer) through and use my non-baby gear. Maternity clothes? Who needs them? I will just wear more t-shirts. Drugs for my aching back? None for me. No wonder I looked and felt terrible. With Kid #2, I got into my maternity clothes as soon as I got a positive pregnancy test, got prescriptions (for drugs, for maternity belts) so I did not have to suffer unnecessarily (though I still suffered plenty). Why didn't I do that before? Postpartum, I got a large selection of nursing tops, and I don't get backaches from holding my t-shirt up with my chin while feeding the baby. 
• Stress. Like Don Henley, I used to hurry a lot, and I used to worry a lot. Not so much with Baby #2; When pregnant, I didn't worry about being Wonder Woman, so I actually told people "no, I cannot do this task/join this committee/volunteer for this bake sale because I am pregnant." Speaking of bake sales, I also started eating and sleeping more right away, and continue to eat to pre-emptively curtail the creepy weight loss that occurred last time.  Also, I don't spend time worrying about either kid not being perfect either. I always question my parenting skills, but I have faith that the kids are all right. 
• La leche. Nursing is ridiculously easy, and I'm thankful for this. I had no problems with milk quantity before, but have a crazy overabundance now. No wonder Jamie's a roly-poly little thing. Or am I confusing cause and effect?
• Sleep in general. It's difficult not to compare kids when a) you only have 2 of them b) they're the same gender. But we'll do it anyway. Jamie is a great sleeper and eater (see previous point) -- he only wakes up 1-2x/night, nurses efficiently, then goes right back to sleep. Also, it's easy to get him to sleep -- I can put him to bed when he's drowsy and he will take it from there. As anyone who read any of my blog posts from 2101-2012 knows, his brother was not like this, 'nuff said. Also, when Baby sleeps, Mom & Dad sleep. Everyone feels sort of refreshed, by newborn standards. I'm sure Jamie will think of other ways to test us in life, but so far sleep ain't one of them. 
• Feelings of inadequacy. Overall after Kid #1 I felt like a royal screw-up, parentally speaking -- I'd had an unplanned c-section (with a general anaesthetic, so I couldn't even see the baby be born); then the kid would not eat and would not sleep. I felt like a failure as a mother. Now that Jamie is here, I found that even though I was awake during the c-section, I couldn't hold him or do any other "bonding" that I felt I'd missed with Wyatt. I also see that I am able to have a kid who eats and sleeps, and that it's not all about me.

Next up ... ruminations on multi/intergenerational housing.